I Am Special (Yeah That Kind of Special)

Yesterday was a shocking day for me.  I work in juvenile justice so on occasion I can have a really bad day.  Some of the bad days have included having one of my favorite kids found dead, having to call child protective services due to rape, having one of my kids committed to adult jail for 15+ years, etc.  Everyone that knows me knows that I love my job.  Most of my kids are overall good kids.  I can honestly say in the year and a half I have worked at this job I have only met one kid I thought was truly evil.  But I get side tracked, I had a really shocking day yesterday.

I took an early lunch to go eat with my dad at 10:30 which I do most Wednesday's.  I returned to my office that I share with my partner at 11:30 and he took off for lunch.  I turned my computer back on and the screen was messed up.   So I turned my computer off and back on.  I decided to unplug my phone charger under my desk and plug in my speakers so I could listen to my ipod while I had the office to myself.  As I was plugging in the speakers the metal faceplate covering the sockets came loose.  I had the speakers half plugged in and the faceplate hit the prongs on the plug for the speakers.  I got a good zap.  A really good zap.  Of course my computer was booting up and my partner had left his on when the circuit breaker flipped.

All of this happened right after noon.  Do you think any of the maintenance guys took an early lunch?  Nope.  Luckily I could do some of my work from my smart phone.  My partner came back and laughed hard once he realized I was OK.  Then my husband called and laughed at me.  The final embarrassment was having to explain to the maintenance guy what I did.  He laughed at me too.  But he was really nice and fixed the faceplate and flipped the breaker back.

My partner and I had a couple seconds of panic.  We had spent all morning adding case files into a new database. I had added fifty files plus all of the notes.  Dominic had added fifty plus files also.  Crap!  I had a couple moments of panic because our database is brand new and not backed up on a server yet.  It took a couple of minutes of panic before I could see that my database was OK.

So long story short: don't play with electricity when everyone is at lunch...

I Found Some Pictures

I found some really good pictures on my hard drive that I did not know I had.

Psycho before David and I met.

Precious the magnificent!
I think this will have to be my last post about Psycho and Precious.  It helps to get out all the hurt but it has come to the point of being harmful.  So look forward to some more funny stories in the near future.

Cali is the Silliest!

I just have to share some baby pictures of Cali today.  She is so silly!

This is Cali after a hard day of helping clean the house.

This is David and Cali after I made them both help clean the house.  They are pitiful.

This is Cali with her protector Gracie.  Cali picks a fight with one of the other dogs and then hides with Gracie.

This is Cali snuggled up for a nap with her best friend Shelby. 

It Has Been a Long Week (Lets Talk About R-E-S-P-E-C-T)

So I haven't wrote another post in a little over a week.  We named the puppy Cali but it doesn't seem to be sticking.  I have been trying to think of another name.  It is not sticking because David can't pronounce her name properly.  It sounds like he is calling her Kelly.  I went to school with the biggest bully named Kelly so I am not really liking that.  Either way Cali has to get her shots this afternoon.  She is doing good with all the other dogs.  My heart still aches everyday for Psycho.  I want to plant a rose bush over where she is buried.  Maybe I can get to that this weekend.

I have been having a tough time in my relationships with people too.  It seems like most people value respect but do not seem to know how to be respectful.  I really think there are three levels of respect: respect, no respect and disrespect.  The difference of no respect and disrespect is vital to understanding where I am coming from.  If you you do not respect someone but do not act disrespectfully toward them I would consider that no respect.  You don't respect them but you also don't go out of your way to be disrespectful. 

I think every family has some sort of respect (or lack thereof) ingrained within the family dynamic.  I was raised to be respectful even if you hate the person.  I have taken many disrespectful comments from "family members" and never been disrespectful back.  That is a hard feat for me because I have a temper.  On the other hand some families learn to communicate by yelling and throwing tantrums at each other.  To me that is disrespectful behavior but they think it is normal.  I feel completely disrespected when I am yelled at while others find yelling is a good way for them to communicate.

Another matter of respecting someone is to allow them to have their own opinions.  I think the world is a better place because everyone does not think alike.  I try to be (and hope) I am a flexible person that takes others opinions into consideration.  There are a few things that I have a strong opinion on that I will not be flexible about.  Most of those inflexibility's are centered around my relationship with my spouse.  I feel that visiting a strip club is cheating.  I also feel that communicating with an ex is a huge no-no.  I live by the rule of do unto others.  If you don't want me to do it to you don't do it to me.

A big part of respect is the ability to compromise.  Relationships are one big compromise.  Everyday you wake up to make compromises.  What is for breakfast?  What are we going to do today?  Who does the dishes?  Who feeds the dogs?  All compromises in a relationship.  One of the biggest compromises I have personally had to make is our social life.  I am the least social person.  I gain more energy off of being home by myself than anything else.  David is the opposite.  He gets energy off of crowds of people and socializing.  Needless to say this causes issues with our relationship.  He wants to go to crowded events two days in a row for eight to ten hours at a time.  This can kill my whole weekend to where I go to work more exhausted.  On the other hand it is not fair to David if that is what he really wants to do.  My solution is let him do his thing and I will do mine.  It sounds good in theory but doesn't work because David doesn't like to do things without me.

I just don't know.  I started this post on Friday and here it is Monday and I am feeling a little better about everything.  We stayed home all weekend for the first time in a long time.  I feel rested, refreshed and ready to dace a couple more weekends of going out instead of staying in.  Maybe that is what I need.  One weekend a month to stay in and rest.  Do you think I will get any compromise on staying in one weekend a month?

Losing Psycho and Gaining Another

Losing Psycho has been one of the most devastating events.  She was my world and had been my constant companion for ten years.  At the beginning of the week David told me I could get whatever kind of dog I wanted as my next pet.  I wanted another Australian Cattle Dog of some sort.  So over the last couple days I have looked at hundreds of dogs in four shelters.  I have checked out every dog on petfinder that was withing driving distance. 

On Tuesday we found a beautiful five month old German Shepard.  She was taken to the shelter for eating chickens.  After doing some research on German Shepard's I decided I couldn't take one because of the potential health problems.  Tuesday we also found an Australian cattle dog that I liked.  She was too timid and scared to even come out on a leash with us.  She didn't speak to me and wasn't the right dog.

On Wednesday the Animal Humane Society had a couple Australian cattle dog pups.  I called to see if they were still available and they were.  When we got to the shelter they were already adopted.  So David offered to take me to the east side animal shelter.  When we were walking through a particular Australian cattle dog caught my eye.  She was smaller than most Australian cattle dogs and was the neatest color.  We took her out and played with her.  In the play area as we were looking around we noticed big clumps of what appeared to be Psycho's hair.  I already liked the little dog but that seemed to be Psycho's blessing to take her home.

So we took her home.  The first place she went outside was to where Psycho had laid until we came home.  She stood in that place and wimpered a little.  I think she knows that Psycho was there and meant a lot to me.  As of right now I am calling her no name until we can come up with some as creative and unique as DB or Psycho.  No name has a few really funny things about her.  This morning she picked a fight with Shelby the black Doberman and then went and hid behind Gracie our red Doberman.  She also was nipping at my pantleg trying to herd me around the house while I was getting ready.

After doing some research I am pretty sure I figured out what no name is.  She does not look exactly like an australian cattle dog.  I think she is a Red Cloud Kelpie.  She looks just like one.  It makes me wonder how such an excellent herding dog ended up in an Albuquerque animal shelter.  Kelpie's are known to jump on the backs of sheep to get to the front of the herd and clear up a jam.  I am waiting for the day she decideds to herd dobermans by jumping on their backs.

Now I have a 7 month old kelpie to keep my mind off of Psycho.  I can't ever replace my Psycho dog.  But as bad as it hurt to lose Psycho I think it is good to keep taking strays until the day I die.  There will be only on Psycho in the world but there will always be good pound dogs that need a home.

One more note on Psycho.  My coworker Dominic cracked me up about Psycho yesterday.  He said she was a G (lingo for gangster).   He told me in the list of all time G's it goes Tupac, Notorious BIG, Psycho the dog.  They all went out at the top of their game in a blaze of glory.

Here are some pictures of no name.  Keep in mind she weighed 17.9 lbs. two days ago when they weighed her to spay her.  If she really is a kelpie she will get to 30-40 lbs. max.  She won't be very big.

P.S. I think she looks like a Dingo.

Things Only Got Worse

So the last time I wrote a post I was going to take a couple days off.  My main reason was to clean house and have some relaxing time to myself.  Friday was a good day off.  I spent the entire day on the couch watching TV with the dogs between doing loads of laundry.  Saturday afternoon I agreed to go to the drag races with David.  We feed the dogs early so we could stay out a little later in the evening.  We went to the races at about 5pm and came home around 11:30.  When we got home is when my whole weekend and life went to shit. 

As we came through the front door I was congratulating Bentley and Shelby on not eating anything in my house since we had been gone for awhile.  They were running around and I was laughing.  I realized quickly that Psycho had not greeted us at the door.  So I asked David where Psycho was.  David went out back to look for her as I looked in the house.  David yelled for me from the back yard that he had found her.

When I got out there he said she was bloody and hurt.  So I ran in and grabbed a towel to pick her up.  When I picked her up I brought her into the house and sat her on the floor.  She was covered in blood and looked a little woozy.  So I asked David to pick her up and take her into the bathroom so I could clean her up and see how bad she was hurt.  David picked her up like a baby and I noticed fresh blood on the carpet where I had sat her down.  I pulled the towel back that was wrapped around her and saw that she had a serious laceration on her tummy, a large wound on her side and her little leg was almost completely cut off.  I checked her gums and they were totally white indicating severe blood lose.  I told David we had to take her to the vet immediately.  The emergency vet was a good twenty minute drive from our house.

When we got to the emergency vet we handed Psycho over to the vet tech with a warning that she would bite.  They took her to the back and started and IV to give her pain meds and some fluid.  They also had to muzzle her because she offered to bite a vet tech.  By this time it was a little after midnight.  The vet came in and told us that she was in serious condition and we needed to decide what to do.  She would need at minimum $1000 worth of surgery to repair her leg and their were no guarantees on how severe her injuries were without xrays and blood work.  Our other option was to have her euthanized.  David and I could not make the decision so I called my Dad and woke him up.  My Dad loved Psycho and was the reason she was such a good dog.  So I knew he would make the right decision for her.  He told me the kindest thing would be to put her to sleep because even if she survived surgery she may not survive the infections.  So the decision was made.

The vet took her and laid her, covered up on a dog bed in a room and let us sit with her until we felt like it was time.  We sat with her for twenty minutes and loved her and talked to her before we could let the vet put her down.  The vet came in and gave her a sedative and then the sodium pentathol.  She laid there and let me rub her face and David rub her feet and just went to sleep.  She looked very peaceful in her last moments.  She was officially pronounced dead at 1am on Sunday morning.  The vet then took her body and wrapped it up for us to take home and bury.  When they gave her remains to us the vet tech told us we had made the right decision.  The vet was sure that a coyote or another wild animal had inflicted the damage.  The vet told us that Psycho should not have still been alive when we brought her in.  She had a punctured lung, perforated colon and her leg was almost detached.  I think she held on long enough to say goodbye.  When we got home David took her inside and put her in the spare bathroom until the next morning.

On Sunday morning my mom, sister and brother-in-law showed up to help us bury her.  David and I had already dug the grave on the back corner of the property before they arrived.  My sister, Lisa, and I shoveled up all the bloody material into the bottom of the grave.  Psycho was laid to rest with the chewy her dog buddies had left with her when she was injured, her dog bowel and a squeaky toy.  Stevy (my brother-in-law) helped bury her and return all the gravel back to where it should be.  After we buried her Stevy found a place next to the wall with tons of blood where it looked like something had went over the wall.

Before we buried her I got up and looked around our property for signs of a wild animal.  One of the neighborhood police officers stopped and told me that they had reports of an injured or sick bobcat in the area so be careful.  My Uncle Tom who is an avid hunter does not believe that a bobcat would be big enough to hurt Psycho and thinks that it was a mountain lion.  I think a mountain lion is a really good possibility where we live.  Whatever it was left enough chunks of fur and meat from fighting with Psycho that I think it went off and died.   

On Sunday we managed to piece together what we think happened.  The thing we know for sure is our red doberman Gracie was beyond traumatized.  I think she is probably the one who chased the cat off of Psycho.  She had a little blood on her collar like she had went out and laid down with Psycho.  Also one of the dogs took Psycho her rawhide chewy and left it within her reach.  The other dogs did not go out and retrieve it so it got buried with Psycho.  They did the best they could to take care of her.  We think that the animal was trying to come in through the dog door and Psycho defended her home like she always did.  She was my little warrior and died like a warrior.  After some reflection and thinking about sitting her on the floor after we found her injured I am pretty sure her back was broken.

I will post more things on Psycho in the near future.  It really helps me feel better to get it out.

                                                   RIP Psycho June 26th, 2011

Lots of Things...

So for my lunch hour I am going to write another blog post.  It will be all over the place and so I apologize in advance. 

First on the agenda is my writing.  Some of the people who I have shared this blog with think I should write a book.  So in the theory of one day getting there please pass this blog on to everyone you know.  Maybe the right person will see it.

Second on the agenda is to do one last shout out to Precious the cat.  I will never be able to wear flip flops again and feel the same.  Precious loooovvved my flip flops.  I would kick them off under the coffee table and he would roll on them and rub his face all over them.  Once he was done loving my stinky flip flops he would fall asleep with his head on one.  The weird thing is it was just my flip flops, he would never roll on and love my tennis shoes.  So lots of love for Precious because he changed my life in such a positive way.  I will try not to do any more Precious cat posts for a while.

The third item is some information.  Before I post anything about anyone else I try to check it out with them first.  So I asked David before I posted the un dun dun stories.  As far as I know David, my mom and other family members read my blog.  So I try to be sensitive to every one's feelings.  I am sure that many of you are asking where this is coming from.  I am planning on doing a post in the very near future about trust and respect. 

The final item is that I will be taking a couple days off in the very near future.  I don't think everyone needs to know exactly which days but it will be a couple.  I am planning on doing some personal reflection and some house cleaning.  So I am not totally sure if I will write any posts but then again I may write tons.  Who knows?

One last minute update:  Bentley may have a new home.  I am going to take him to meet with his potential mommy on Saturday morning.  So wish him luck in finding his forever home.